Hardship and tragedy left Justyna empty and full of fear. But an encounter at a wedding four years ago led her to Alpha and completely transformed the way she sees the world and lives her life.
Although Justyna, 40, has known much pain and loss in her life, there’s a sense of optimism and energy about her as she shares her story. “I’ve heard many testimonies and they always encourage me,” she smiles. “I hope that mine helps others, too.”
Justyna’s childhood was a difficult one, blighted by her father’s alcoholism, which brought the family financial hardship and emotional turmoil. As soon as she turned 18 she left her hometown to move to Warsaw for a job. At 23 she fell in love and was married a year later.
I was completely devastated.
There was no God in my
life to turn to.
Her happiness was not to last. One year into the marriage, her husband was killed in a motorbike accident. Six months later she lost her mother to cancer.
“I was completely devastated. There was no God in my life to turn to so I would try to talk to my dead husband. I would ask, ‘Why is this happening?’ but there were no answers.”
An old friend helped Justyna to get through that hard time and, after a few years, they got married. Unfortunately, despite having a daughter together, the marriage was an unhappy one and the couple soon split up.
“My heart was broken and it felt like a black hole was consuming me. Also, because my mother died from cancer, I lived in constant fear that I was sick, too. I started searching for something, anything to help me. I tried tarot card reading, yoga and other things, but nothing helped.”
One day Justyna was at a friend’s wedding when a couple of other guests she was sitting with mentioned that they were hosting Alpha courses.
Found it hard to believe
“When they explained it was something Christian, I didn’t want to know anything more. I had gone to church as a child but I found it hard to believe. I felt that being a good Catholic was more of a burden than something good – you have to do that, be there, don’t do that…”
But Justyna really liked the couple who had shared about Alpha, so they exchanged numbers and kept in touch now and then. Four months after meeting, they invited Justyna to an Alpha course.
“I did think about it but I said no because my daughter was only eight and it was difficult to attend something in the evenings. A year later, they invited me again.”
By then, Justyna was at a particularly low point because her nine-year-old daughter, who had been ill for some time, had just been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
I didn’t know what else to do
so I decided that although it
would be difficult to arrange,
I would try Alpha.
“It was yet another moment in my life that confirmed that there was no hope for me, that everything would always go wrong. I didn’t know what else to do so I decided that although it would be difficult to arrange, I would try Alpha.”
Encouraged by the warmth and openness she found there, Justyna continued to attend the sessions. One week, they talked about praying for healing – a topic which felt hugely significant for Justyna.
“I had discovered a breast lump, and although it wasn’t cancerous I had to have it scanned every six months and I was so stressed about it. I was at Alpha the evening before my next scan, and they prayed for my healing.
“The next day at my scan the radiographer kept looking at the details of my previous scans, and then back at the scan and eventually said, ‘I don’t know what’s happened but there’s nothing there. The lump is gone.’ I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy and relieved.”
During the Alpha weekend, Justyna felt ready to let God into her life. As someone prayed over her, she felt her anxieties melt away. She wept as she said to God, “My life has been so unhappy because I didn’t know you. I don’t want to live like this any more.”
“I remembered what Mary had said to the Angel Gabriel and I said it, too: ‘I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.’ I knew that I wanted to serve God.”
The emptiness and fear have gone
Justyna admits that she had no idea what that moment would lead to. “I thought that maybe I’d help serve the tea during Alpha courses, or something like that,” she laughs. “But my life feels so different now.
“The emptiness and fear has gone. And even though there are still problems in my life, they aren’t as big as Jesus. I now live in the truth that He is with me and wants good things for me. All I have to do is trust and pray and listen to His voice.”
As well as continuing to pursue a successful career in logistics and raising her daughter, Justyna serves in her church and volunteers for Alpha, helping to coordinate Alpha courses in Warsaw. And one of her greatest joys is seeing her daughter, now 13, seeking God, too.
“I’m so proud of her,” she smiles. “She saw how I changed after I became a Christian so she’s chosen the way of Jesus, too. She’s doing the Alpha youth course now, and prays and reads the Bible. Even though she doesn’t understand it sometimes, she’s searching and asking lots of questions.”
